It’s back to school time in the USA. Many of my former classmates from the 1980s are now teachers. Even the ones who threw 6” steel nails at Mrs. Drake’s head and flaming matches at Mr. Passer in the 9th grade. On Social Media, they are sharing how things have changed since those innocent times. Ahhh, the 1980s. When Eddie Murphy was funny, hair was big and mascara thick. Things were simpler then. Especially in terms of school supplies. Now, kids are given 3-page lists with specific requirements from schools that must be upheld. In my day, we had a few simple items that lasted all year. Here is a list of the Top 10 things that every ’70s and ’80s kid had.
- A Trapper Keeper. With this, you could fit all of your schoolwork into neat little pockets, with dividers for each subject. Mine had kittens on it. Little fluffy creampuff kittens, to be exact.
- Number 2 pencils. They started out long and tall. An ideal slingshot frame when paired with a sturdy rubber band. By the end of week 2, they would fall victim to the horrible medieval pencil sharpeners mounted on the walls in each classroom.
- Shitty eraser tops. They broke apart and smudged color all over your freshly ruled paper, but they were good for stress chewing and throwing at other kids. Hurt like hell if you took one in the eye.
- Troll pencil toppers. I never understood this fad. I always thought they looked like creepy old junkies with pencils up their asses.
- A Real Metal Lunch box with a thermos. Not the plastic kind! Mine was from my then-favorite TV show Space 1999. Still a great show available for download on iTunes. Somehow it made the crappy bologna sandwiches taste better. (Sorry, Mom.)
- Duffle bag a.k.a a Book bag. The boys typically had a sports logo and the girls had unicorns and rainbows. All were brightly colored so as to blind you. Doubled as a deadly weapon when full of books.
- Sketch Scented Markers. They smelled like fruit. The manufacturer actually encouraged kids to sniff them. AWESOME.
- Brown paper bag book covers. They lasted the whole year and were mandatory to protect your textbooks. You could draw on them. Band logos, landline numbers and dick pics never looked so good.
- Folders with popular characters on them for extra paperwork. I had one with Garfield in a Hawaiian shirt and another with the Purple Rain album cover. Of course I did.
- Denim Jacket fully customized with favorite band patches and pins. Not so much a supply item but a standard for small-town American kids. Where school uniforms were not a requirement, we established our own. Pretty much the same now. It’s nice to know that some things never change.
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